Gradually I am becoming abnormal, not just because it is a quick way of getting shelter in a country where hardship is part of daily living, but because normal doesn’t just cut it for me anymore. Today’s normal stinks of false hood, negativity and all shades of bad, so please prepare the chains, as I gradually begin to cleanse and purge myself, living free from the stench of your normal, gradually, enjoying the fragrance of abnormal. OH yes, gradually I am coming to terms with certain yet unanswerable things, like why girls want good guys but always fall for the bad guys, or why people raise other people’s children well, but fault in the raising of their own kids. I have learned not to seek for the answers that do not reveal themselves yet, there is a reason they are in hiding.
Gradually i am making sense of the process, the wait, the time between action and result. Gradually I know it will come, the things I seek deep down in my heart, the dreams I have with open eyes. The love I long to share, the good I want to do, the man I want to be. Gradually I am learning the ropes, counting the costs, the ones and twos, the uglys and you.
So I am sorry for not being where you are, or what you want. I am sorry for not meeting your expectations, these days I don’t regard a lot of things, your expectations inclusive. I am sorry if this isn’t what you hoped for, I am sorry for not writing in a long while, but my dear, this is for me, and I am taking life GRADUALLY.